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Posts Tagged ‘too little too late’

My oldest child is 29 years old.  She is beautiful, vibrant, fun-loving and I believe her to be quite amazing.  Her problem, she is the manager of a sports bar.  Because of this, the quality of men she meets at work is less than desirable, so she generally blows them off and ignores them, dating only guys she meets other places.  And for years and years, she has told me she had no intention on getting married or having children.  Not EVER.  But that’s a story for a different day.

Four months ago, my beautiful girl met this guy, we’ll call him Butthead or BH for short.  Gotta protect the not so innocent, I guess.  ANYWAY, BH met my girl, and because she worked in a bar, thought it would be ok to lie to her, because who really falls in love in a bar.  Well, she did.  She fell for this jerk, hard.  They started talking about getting married and having kids.  She’s never talked like that about a man before, I wasn’t so sure about BH, but it made my heart skip a beat knowing she was ready to take such a huge step.  It means her heart has healed, and she truly is the whole woman I always hoped she’d be one day.

At first we thought his biggest fault was being a Redskin fan, in a family full of some serious Cowboy fans that’s a major problem.  I had even told him he had to fake it when he was here so he wasn’t ganged up on.  Her brothers were appalled that she would even talk to him, after all he was a traitor, Redskins?  We Texan’s take our football very seriously.  Turns out that wasn’t his biggest fault after all.  What a heartbreaking disappointment for my sweet girl.

But BH had spent a lot of time spinning his tales and it was finally catching up to him.  One of her friends asked her if he finally kicked his girlfriend out of the apartment, you know, the apartment she’d never seen.  Someone else said, ‘don’t get too excited honey, he’ll be back in jail before you know it’.  Another, ‘don’t give him money, he’ll just blow it on drugs’.  And then there was, ’35, you’ve got to be kidding, he’s at least 40′.  Well, she’d heard one too many inconsistencies, hadn’t met his 15 year old daughter (the one he claimed was 11), hadn’t been to his house, hadn’t met any of his friends or family and was starting to get that feeling in the pit of her stomach, you know the one.  After talking to me, we decided it was time to have a background check run.  Sure enough, he was a 40 year old ex-con with a really long rap sheet, who owned his own business because no one would hire him.  So she went through her apartment and found the few things that belonged to him, packed them up and when he showed up that evening, she handed them to him at the door and told him to go.

During this time, he has supposedly discovered that she’s way more than a barkeeper, and is actually pretty amazing.  I mean, she did get an academic scholarship to Georgetown, so she’s actually a pretty smart cookie.  But sometimes you screw up a good thing before you know it’s a good thing.  And now that she’s told him to get lost, he’s scrambling to convince her to take him back.  Seriously?

SO last night BH worked up some serious nerve, he actually called me and apologized.  You treated my beautiful girl like trash and I’m supposed to just let it go?  I told him if it was his daughter, he’d be the first one telling her to run the other way and not look back.  Really?  It may have made her feel good, and he may think that it will get him off the hook, but there is no way in hell I was going to accept his apology.  He actually tried to play it off as if the only thing he lied about was his age at first.  Um, no, that’s not all and you and I both know it.  He’s 40 years old and lying to mom???  Basically I told him he was an adult and too old to act this way.  He even told me that he did some foolish things from 30 to 40 but they were mistakes.  Um, no, 10 years is a lifestyle, not an oops.  And since he’s 40 now, it wasn’t exactly ancient history.  I ended the conversation by telling him that it’s not ok and I’m not impressed.  In the end, I felt like I did really well having a civil conversation and not cursing him out.

His other problem, dad and one of her brothers was there to hear my side of this conversation last night.  And soon all 5 of the boys will know.  And for all the guys out there, it’s never a good idea to piss off the family of a girl with 5 brothers.  Treating their sister badly is a really fast way to make for some serious hard feelings.

I have the sinking feeling that BH will show up again begging her to feel sorry for him.  And she might, but she won’t trust him again, which means he may as well take his lumps and move on.  I also know that her brothers will be introducing her to some decent guys, and these over protective big beefy boys will be sure to tell BH exactly what they think of him if he has the misfortune of running into them again.

Now I have to call her and tell her that I still think he’s full of beans and no, it’s just not ok.

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