Shopping with boys can be a challenge. But now I have a daughter, and she loves to shop. At least that’s what I thought. Turns out that she loves the indoor playground at the mall. Shopping is a total loss on this one too. But it took me a while to catch on. In fact, I found out when we were bra shopping.
No woman wants to shop for a new bra, really, it’s a chore. But from time to time it’s a serious necessity and you have to do what you have to do. I was there. It was time. SO I asked my little pixie if she wanted to go shopping with me.
“ALRIGHT!!! Can I wear my new shoes?”
She was so excited, I was thrilled. I finally got a beautiful little angel that liked to do things I like to do, like baking cookies, getting your nails done and of course shopping. LIFE IS GOOD!
We get to the first store and I am ready to do the chore of trying on 500 bras looking for one that fits. She looks a little dismayed, “Mommy, this isn’t the mall.”
“No honey, we are looking for a bra. You don’t need a mall for that.”
I dig around, looking for my size while she ducks under the clothes and peeks out from between hangars and night gowns. Finally it’s time, we’re off to the dressing room. I tried on a bunch, decided none of them would do and we go back to the racks. “Mommy, I want to go to the mall.” I am in the zone now, on the hunt, hell-bent I’m going to get the perfect fitting bra, and my chest will finally look like I am a perfect model shaped woman, magazine ready.
“Sweetheart, we are bra shopping. Maybe we can go to the mall later.”
With the first and second stack of bras discarded, I find a third stack and head back to the dressing room yet again. THE one has to be in here somewhere! We go in the dressing room and I quickly toss my shirt on the chair and try on bra after bra. All the while the pixie is now laying on the floor with her foot in the air, swinging it around and looking unbelievably bored, saying things like “When are we headed to the mall?”, “You know this isn’t a mall, right?”, “How far is the mall from here?”, “I bet daddy would like the mall better than this.”
I can hear other women snickering and giggling and one even piped in and said, “Yeah, the mall would be better than this. That’s for sure.”
“Look honey, I think I found it. What do you think?” My eureka moment, I am a champion bra hunter, and everything is going to be just fine.
NEVER EVER EVER ask a bored child what they think. Especially a smart one.
“Sure, it works. Blue is pretty. But daddy’s boobs are bigger than yours.” All the snickers stopped. Dead silence.
Now I am an experienced parent. I know how to handle kids. She is the youngest of 7 after all. I should know what I’m doing by now. I open my mouth and what fell out? “No way! My boobs are way bigger than his!”
After a few shocked seconds of silence, the entire dressing room erupted in laughter. Oh crap, that really did come out of my mouth? What have I done? Sometimes in life, there are things that just can’t be unsaid.
“Ok sweetheart, let me just pay for this and we will go to the mall.”